I have heard very few things about the amino app, specifically the gothic forum, so in my mind I thought it would be this cool little nook with a bunch of like-minded goths. I was also greatly mistaken. Very few people post on there, I don't know if that is usual or not. But, among those few people, I found a small pocket of goth elitism. I'm positive that young/immature people "run" the forum, but so far it has been a nightmare and I've only spend 20 minutes there! I've put myself on there as I am, the pathetic, anti-social loner with no life. So far, a 40-ish year old man has tried to privately contact me. Off to a shit start already. I may be posting this to those very people, I don't care. This is my public blog and the only place I truly feel comfortable expressing myself. On that note, any place on the Internet labeled "goth" should be a comfortable place for anyone and everyone to express themselves. Unfortunately, that is not the case, currently.
This really sucks, I just need some like-minded people, aka open minded people. Is abstract thinking illegal now? If so, I haven't gotten the memo. Everyone has been so focused on how they look, caring soooo much about what other people think of them, which is not what goth is about. I get it, really, I'm extremely self-conscious! But, when a teenage girl is asking goths why they hate her/pastel goths and why goths don't accept pastel goth as goth....head spinning, I know. My whole life as a goth, it has been such a huge thing that, as a goth, you don't care what other people think and you don't judge other people negatively. What the fuck happened?! Where have my people gone?!
Now, I'm limited to watching these beautiful gothic women sell themselves on YouTube just to make enough money to keep making videos for YouTube. It's crazy to me! Don't get me wrong, I understand, it's just heartbreaking how much we are all distancing ourselves from each other. I think I've said this before, but if this is how goth is, I don't want to be goth anymore.
Now, you know I'm going to continue to fit the part, but you know what I'm saying. I will soon be an elder goth, someone the youngens look up to. I solemnly swear that I will protect the ways I have been taught and I will keep the ways alive as I teach them to my students.
Rant over.
If you still read my crap, I love you and I wish we could hang out.
<3 zaney
