I'd Do Anything!

I'd do anything to have some amazing connections! Alternative modeling has been  a dream of mine for years, but I was always stuck in a little dip in the earth that had no idea what "Alternative" meant to our worldwide culture. 

In my Silly, Fun and Positively Amateur! *photo dump* post, you can see that I had a bit of passion for being a wanna-be. I would LOVE to model for our amazing Alternative companies that have provided so many of our admirable articles of clothing, makeup, and accessories!! No matter how big or small, I want to be a part of that!

I never really thought about what kind of goth I am, mainly because I don't fit in ONE category. It all depends on the day, the mood, the weather. Whether I'm all bubbly and wearing pink, or dark and wearing my 8 year old TRIPP pants and a baggy Marilyn Manson T-shirt, I'm VERSATILE. 

I've tried to create my own clothing, let's just say, I'm still trying. It's a lot harder than it looks, with the zippers and chains, collars and pockets. I've almost mastered the Fashion  Tank…almost. If you are an artist and need help with modeling, word of mouth/advertising, Please let me know. I know I'm not super popular (yet) but I still want to help you out! I think we should ALL help each other out!

If you need a short model, let me know ;)

Office Space For The Hermit

I've been working on my office all day, I've gotten as far as getting my monster computer set up in here…WHY DO WE ACCUMULATE SO MUCH STUFF?!!!

While cleaning, I found some things that were meant to be forgotten! Being a crafty goth, I tend to accumulate so many strange things. Clothing that I haven't seen in AGES! Pictures from when I was 2, diaries of a mad goth girl, crappy paintings I did over 2 years ago…need I say more?

Being a bit of a hoarder, I don't really think at the time that I'd later question why I ever kept certain things. I feel like "Man, if I throw this away now, I might need it later! I'll just put it here…" well, I never find it when I need it, or find it and throw it away, then need it or stare at my own reflection and ask myself "Why you do dat?!  Why you hoard garbage?"

I'm a hermit, I do not like going out in the "General Public", I'd rather hang out with relatively awesome and weird people…when all my people are gathered in one place, I have no need to leave, you see, I stay here and hug my junk, lol.  

Making this office is probably a GREAT thing for myself and everyone else here! It's forcing me to deal with my mounds of chaotic messy doom!

NEXT, I will set up my sewing table, then my sit-in vlogging set up with ghetto-fied box lights (the better to see me, my dear). I believe the only other thing left to set up, other than my awesome amazing pole, is my bed. When I say bed, I mean cushy, soft, oversized dog bed, pretty much. When I happen to stay here overnight, it will be only me…all by myself…with no snuggle buddy…except cole, he'd snuggle, but its not the same,
 :( shad faysh

sad chibi me

I cannot wait to start making all my DIY and vlog videos! If I can lose the camera-shyness, I think it'd be a great way to connect with all of my fellow weirdos!

Soul Searching (Career Move)

We all go through that phase where we wonder what we want to do with our lives.

For, almost 10 years, I knew I wanted to be a cosmetologist. Well, until I found out that it generally costs $14k to attend a decent school. Realizing that I wasn't going to get there as fast as I dreamt, I thought about psychology, until many people warned me that it doesn't pay much and all you can really do around here is be a case worker. Then, revisiting the idea of being a nutritionist came to mind recently, until the college I was looking into required extensive core classes…for nutrition? Yeah, I'm broke and have heard horror stories of pulling out a student loan, no thanks. I felt lost and helpless…But, what does a little goth girl do? I work best with one-on-one kind of stuff and I love making people feel better, I don't want to be a doctor, I need something!

I found a school near me that offers massage therapy classes, it'd be an associates degree (9 month course) and they accept all kinds of grants. I have an appointment with an advisor tomorrow, I am psyched!!! If this works out, I'll be the happiest little goth girl on the planet!!!

I am making this post, just in case there is someone reading right now that feels down in the dumps. So, here's to you:

I've hated my life for over a year now, NO EMO, and all I wanted to do is be someone. I want my own life, space, my own anything! I currently lack the ability to have my own space, my own life, my own anything. The computer I am typing on right now is shared by many people, my grandmother (Alzheimer's sufferer) literally disables me in every sense of life. I have zero friends, no job, no room. It sucks shitty monkey balls! But…there is always something better. If you've ever seen the muppets: treasure island, YOU KNOW!

There's gotta be something better!!!

Now that I have annoyed you with my whiney ranty cry-baby post, heres an old screenshot of me when I was like, 15 making makeup videos on youtube…

Sooo many people said I looked like Wednesday from the Addam's Family! lol

I will be setting up my office this week so I can make my super awesome GOTH DIY videos!! yaaay!

Broken Cars and Angry Women

QUICK YOUTUBE UPDATE!!

I fixed my main problem! Come check me out at

Youtube.com/zaneybat

I'll be uploading my first vlog today!

Re-Re-Revisiting My Hair Journey

Ok, here we go. I plan on making this a video, lets put it in WERDS First.

I started with black hair:

Then, Lightened to:

Then, Colored purple with homemade purple dye:

I didn't like how dark the majority of it was, so I lightened and re-dyed:

 It faded to:

Oh my, I was EXTREMELY upset with this

 So, I did some soul searching, I knew I needed something that matched ME.

I took some online hair color quizzes, personality quizzes, they all pointed to this:

YES, MY HAIR IS RED!!! And I love it!!! Its really pinky on top and transitions into crimson! BEAUTIFUL!!

Photo collage of my recent journey:

**If you are interested in how I made my Homemade Purple Hair dye, just leave a comment below, I shall reveal my secrets!

**If you wanna know what red I used, Let me know, and I shall reveal my secrets.

Hell, just comment and talk to me! I'm lonely! lol

Do You Vlog?

As a very shy and awkward little goth, I have always wanted to vlog but I never liked anything about my videos. I watched a special someone's video the other day and she reminded me that being yourself, no matter what it is you are doing, is key. Um, duh, thats why I am not afraid to label myself as GOTH!! Hey, I never claimed to be the sharpest nail in the coffin….

So, with my boyfraan's encouragement, I, zaney, will be making vlogs….and continuing to post on my regular blog. Without further blabbing, Starting today, I will post my vlogs:

:HERE:

Now, just so you know, the username is zaneybat, but the url says cortneycalamity. My real name is Cortney, I prefer zaney…either way…its still me :) and I will always love you all!!!!