Whine Whine Whine-Bitch Bitch Bitch

It is so crazy what constant stress can do to the body...the skin!!

 I've had acne for as long as I can remember, the only thing that ever helped was birth control. I'm 23 now and my acne is worse than ever! Cystic acne, black heads, VOLCANOS! And for the first time in my life, I have dents in my face from acne!

Now, the fine lines were bothering me, but I know that my facial expressions plus smoking will do that...but pocks?! Little craters, taunting me. Lines and craters. On my fucking face. Only 23. Acne at 23. What the hell?!!!

This week has been especially stupid. I mean, DAYUM! I'm shaking my head at everything and everyone, I think its safe to assume that stupid IS in fact contagious.

Oh, life. Why do you loathe me sooooo?

I hope I can get my life together soon enough before I end up in an institution for hurting people.
I've been a troll lately, but people are giving me a great reason to troll on them...though I troll in silence, I think they feel my hatred from way over here! LOL

I need to get me some edumacation, NOW! I feel so behind in life. Help me!!! I know what I wanna do, I just need the friggen money to do it :(

I only have about a week left here in this state...I'm so FUCKING grateful! Lordy, I hate New Mexico. Done witchyew punk asses!

Story Time

There once was a little goth girl full of life and wonder.
She had been through hell and heaven 
And enjoys lightning and thunder.
Until, one day, her grandmother fell ill.
No wizard nor witch knew what ailed her.
The devil then swooped in and pranced the 
grandmother around like a doll.
"Oh, for her poor soul, lord please take her into your hold!" 
the girl screamed at the sky.
The heavens fell silent and the ground froze as the years passed by.

"There is no rest for the innocent" The devil roared.
The language he spoke through the grandmother only screeched
with screams and grunts, but the goth girl understood all too well
 what that devil spit from here to hell.
"I've been to your world and back, nothing you say or do can change that!
I'm not innocent, I will rest better than you, I am just as malevolent" The 
goth girl smiled, confident and proud.
The devil stared at the girl, up and down.
"There is still innocence within you, child. It is very clear!
That is why you are still here. Hell can't have you and heaven
doesn't want you. What better way to devour what is left than to
eat you gone inside your head!" The devil laughed.

The little goth girl looked around and said
"This is my end."

Further Butthurt and DARK MAGIC!

Yesterday, I was tagged in a post by my beautiful mother...

How interesting! I've come by things like this before! 
Actually, I've lost sleep over trying to figure out a clean way to do it myself with what I have.

1. Is it embroidery?
2. It's bonded! No.
3. IT'S BLACK MAGIC!

I've tried looking this style up and NO ONE has made a video on it! What is this dark magic? 

Welp, because my mother knows me all too well, I was back on one yesterday over these! I was ready to try every method in my tool box, OK! But, guess what? All my craft stuff is packed up and triple taped in a pile, ready to be transported...

My butthurt is too much right now! Help?

How I Fade Red Hair (Naturally!!) Time and patience required!

 Day 1

-Treatment 1. Vitamin c, baking soda and harsh shampoo 30 minutes.
Result: Eh, there was a lot of dye that came out, but so far not a huge impact on the hair itself.

-Treatment 2. Intense Healing Mask (The last time I used this stuff on my pink hair, it stripped the majority of it out) 40 minutes.
Result: Only the ends have noticeably lightened...Ugh, this is gonna take a while!

-Treatment 3. Coconut oil and sun. 
Result: None. Went right into 4...

-Treatment 4. Vitamin C, dish soap and prell shampoo (found more vc tabs yay). Side note, DO NOT GET THIS CRAP IN YOUR EYE!!! OMG IT BURRRNS!!!!!! I can already see a difference just a few minutes in! Processed for 45 minutes.

Result: WOW, there it is! Very noticeable fade. I have found my concoction! MUAHAAHAA

Side by Side Before and after

Day 1

I'm going to repeat the last treatment a few times until I achieve the Full Fade.
I  have ZERO damage, zero dryness! 


Final Treatment Combo:
I did a honey, cinnamon mask with a splash of lemon juice and baking soda. I left that on for 1 hour.
When I rinsed, I used Vitamin C powder and shampoo as the second part to this treatment. I left that on for about 30 minutes.
Result: WOW! There it is!

I actually like it! It's cute!

I'm going to let my hair rest before repeating the last treatment and I'll keep you updated.

Let me know in the comments what you think!
Have you ever tried to fade from red?

Natural Sex Appeal: Blonde or Red Head?

I've had red hair for 1 year. It is the official anniversary of The Red!

During the process of moving, I've had to pack up my up-keep products. I love the red, but I don't think I can keep up with it for the next few months.

Should I go blonde?

The butt hurt sets in when I think about the fact that my only pair of extensions are now red...I haven't even worn them yet! But, during this process I don't want funked up hair...I don't want pinky orange BLAH all over the place and blonde is my natural color. Do I dare try to strip out the red and orange or just leave it the hell alone?

Here's Oldest to Newest pictures of me with blonde/blondish hair...

I don't know how I feel about it.
It's so weird and uncomfortable to think about having my hair a natural color again...MY natural color. 
Even though it is a temporary thing, I'm going through a change and I don't want to hate my red just because it was in so many chapters, ya know?

Ok...
I'm gonna do it...
OK, HERE IT GOES! Wish me luck!

Packing SUCKS!

Packing this place has been more than a fucking nightmare! The amount of cleaning that we'll need to do before we leave has my stomach in knots!

The closer the date gets, the more nervous I become. The excitement dulls beneath the gut wrenching fear that Murphy's Law could easily go into effect before we even get to the new place.

We are not rich, actually, we are lower class people. We struggle pay check to pay check, borrow from each other and even need food stamps just to get by.
The reality of what we are doing comes in waves, it hits me a little harder with every passing hour.
I am worried and excited. More worried now.

Dealing with grandma while trying to organize our individual lives is like climbing a mountain with hundreds of pounds of dead weight without any security or equipment. It feels impossible and nonsensical.

My boyfriend is positive that he wants to go with me. I feel so much better now, I would not have been OK if things had gone differently.

In real life, I smile and laugh. I nod and agree with everything anyone says, but inside there is a war of good and evil. I literally have to choke the negativity down and hold it there.

Here's to hope and success.

Bad Timing!

Today is one of those beautiful. gloomy, fall/spring days that invigorates my soul and fills my being with a creative energy unlike anything else. I want to play, frolic, explore!
But, I'm supposed to be cleaning and packing! We leave in just a few weeks!

I want to make my pink wool dreads RED, which is a very difficult task when you have no money to frivolously spend!
I want to try yarn wrapping.
I want to make skirts.
I want to print shirts.
I want to make shrinky dinks!
I want to do my hair and makeup.

I want to do everything and anything...except clean and pack! LOL

But, I am going to try to bottle these feelings and energy, because the house we are moving to will have so much more room and quiet areas to make the videos that I've always wanted to!

Can I bottle this feeling? Probably not.
But, I can do so much more when we settle in, so it may come natural to me after a while.

AND THE LAND OUT THERE! Photoshoots galore! We have foothills, trees, desert...All of the scenery I need <3

If you are curious about yarn wrapping:

This adorable woman got me excited about trying it.