Packing SUCKS!

Packing this place has been more than a fucking nightmare! The amount of cleaning that we'll need to do before we leave has my stomach in knots!

The closer the date gets, the more nervous I become. The excitement dulls beneath the gut wrenching fear that Murphy's Law could easily go into effect before we even get to the new place.

We are not rich, actually, we are lower class people. We struggle pay check to pay check, borrow from each other and even need food stamps just to get by.
The reality of what we are doing comes in waves, it hits me a little harder with every passing hour.
I am worried and excited. More worried now.

Dealing with grandma while trying to organize our individual lives is like climbing a mountain with hundreds of pounds of dead weight without any security or equipment. It feels impossible and nonsensical.

My boyfriend is positive that he wants to go with me. I feel so much better now, I would not have been OK if things had gone differently.

In real life, I smile and laugh. I nod and agree with everything anyone says, but inside there is a war of good and evil. I literally have to choke the negativity down and hold it there.

Here's to hope and success.