Road Trip!

Real quick. We are going on a road trip back to New Mexico. Quite the adventure ahead!

If you want updates and pics, follow me on instagram: zaneybat

Wish me luck and give me the strength to come back to hell when its time.

Zaney's Little Monsters!!

I've been working really hard on new ideas for my store. During my learning, digging and crafting, I keep running into dreads. It feels like I'm being haunted.
I love crafting, I love making things and I loved making dreads. My big steamer survived...is that a sign? Should I keep making dreads? I can't here until December, but should I even bother?! It's no harder than any other craft, right? lol, its very tasking. But, the outcome is always worth it! IDK!

Anywho, this is what i've been working on:

These are the creepiest damn things I've ever created. Being the creator, I can't tell if they are store worthy...

I only used what I had: White Clay, black and white acrylic paint, gentian violet, cardboard, a pen and makeup. LOL  ugly little bastards <3

I have a plan for the roses, I really hope it works out.

Let me know what you think, I love you guys!!!!

Ranty Pants

I think I've mentioned this. If not, I'll say it again:

Since we have lived here, this place has kicked us in the balls so many times. I've been kicked while I was down, but not like this.
The simplest things have been impossible, here. I swear, this place is designed to kill its people. From nature to career, this place is just a death trap with our names on it! 
I'm calm, right now, I'm collected while typing this and it is a known fact to me that Tucson is only for a special brand of "people". 
It makes me so sad, this place is supposed to be rich in culture and people, but all I've seen is a diversity that is so separated and disrespectful, I don't want to be associated with city. 

Let me walk you through a simple visit to the store:

1. Screaming single mothers with at least 2 children
2. Ghetto girls screaming on the phone
3. Severely obese and very rude, wheelchair bound individuals
4. Families of 6+ yelling in Spanish at the 4-5 children running wildly
5. White trash couples arguing over last night while taking up the isle

I know that sounds like a typical trip to walmart, but this is the newest and nicest store in Tucson!

You do NOT want to hear about the south side stores!!!

At least in Rio Rancho, there were the same assholes all the time! This place has so many different kind of people that clash, they do not get along at all! I have to say, I hate it here LOL. I know I didn't like New Mexico at first, then I didn't like it because of my situation, but I am not doing this.

I can forget the fire, the situation, the people, the lack of money...I cannot get over the heat. The cherry on top of a shit pie, the heat makes everything unbearable. I know everyone keeps telling me "Its only a few months out of the year!" Yeah, babe, I'm stuck inside for 5 months because my organs will fail if I do anything outside during that time! In Michigan, I was stuck inside for about 5 months because of the extreme winters, I did not want to turn the tables and have it be summer that I'm fearful of. At least in Michigan, I was able to keep my fucking brain cells -_- 

Whew, rant over...for now. HAHA damn it.

Would You Buy This Shirt?!

      https://www.booster.com/revivetheroses

I started a Booster campaign for our cause. I have run

out of options, completely.

Everything I was trying to do in such a short time span

kinda backed my own ass up into a corner.

I'm trying to sell 100 shirts in 31 days. I don't even think I KNOW 100 people!!

If we could sell even 50 shirts, that would mean the world. Its not about the money, its about rising from the ashes...with help. No matter who you are, you need to know that.

If you read the short description on my booster site, you'll know the jist of our current predicament. If you were here, you'd understand the comedy behind 6 people living in a 2 bedroom mobile home. There is horror to follow the laughter, of course, but I'll go into that detail later.

So, do you guys like the shirt? Would you buy it?

I'm JUST SAYIN'! *Rant Warning*

Mmmk, what the hell is going on here?! There is this trend happening among the forefront goths. It's that cheerleader attitude...the bad kind!
(btw, you know its about to get real when my grammar goes flying out the window!)

First of all, I never liked the majority of the goths on youtube, theres always something about their demeanor that turned me off completely. It would get so bad, not naming names yet, that I would watch this girl's videos and not even HEAR what she was saying because her attitude had me head bobbin'. 
Very VERY few goth youtubers I like...There are 4! 
#One, drives me nuts because her and I are exactly alike when it comes to being in front of the camera! I love her to bits and don't quite understand why I can watch her 30 min, nonsensical, videos every time she posts them!! But, this one is pretty guilty of said attitude, lately...just sayin'.
#Two, she doesn't make videos very often but she is a sweetheart and she does some pretty cool diys.
#Three, I don't like her but I like her demeanor...its weird.
And #Four, You were so cool and down to earth. You worked hard for what you had, you went for what you wanted, but when you got back from that HUGE trip you took...you got prissy! Where did that come from? I'm disappointed, but fuck it, my opinion does not matter as a viewer. You just keep doing what you are doing, I can fuck off.

I saw this issue reoccur among the goth youtubers, especially over the past few years. GIRLS, LOSE THE ATTITUDE!! I know people still ask you the same questions that you got asked in high school, I know they ask a bazillion times. When you put yourself out there, you are not only representing yourself as an individual, you are representing the gothic community. If you have an issue with the WAY someone asked you a question, either ignore it or answer it politely. Its not rocket science!!

When you put yourself on youtube, online, you talk about your people and your life...do not tell your viewers (whom are viewing your content because its about your life) that "It's none of your business!" "Thats so rude to ask". Realize that most people watch your life as an escape from theirs, as an example because they are young, because they like you so much that your videos are the closest thing they get to hanging out with a friend. Stop shutting people out or get the fuck out. Ya feel me?!

Sorry not sorry.

Love you guys, leave me some love in the comments <3

Work Smart, Not Hard...

When I worked at Wal-Mart, my favorite co-worker and friend (60+ years old) gave me the best advice I could have ever obtained from another human being outside of my family!
She noticed my grunts of frustration as I struggled with the task at hand. She stopped me by touching my arm and gently stating "Work smart, not hard." She smiled and simply moved the object I struggled with.
Since that moment, I tried practicing that very statement. Sometimes I'd get lost and stray from that mindset, but instilling it into my life, over time, it really started to sink in. That little sweetheart was so right!
Could I ever "Work smart, not hard"? Is that a possibility?!
With hard work, can you just ease into working smart? Maybe!
I'm not where I want to be in life, but I am living the life I agreed to. My inner self has so many problems, I always get knocked off any horse I find. Taking chances is something I'm kind of bad at, I mean, I don't take chances! I usually only run on LAST MINUTE mindset, thats how I get things done...Last stinkin' minute!!  When I fail (often) I beat myself up for so long, all that time wasted on pity parties when I could've been learning from my mistakes and stopped making stupid excuses for my actions (or lack there of).

I'm trying really hard to be what everyone needs, right now. Including myself! I need me to get my thumb out of my ass and do what needs to be done. The immature brat in me is actually cowering at the fact that I now have TONS of responsibilities out of no where...again. But, this time is different, I know what to do. Work. Like, real work. But, work smart...not hard! That means, no over thinking, just doing without over exertion! The applications are sent, now I wait impatiently :)

BTW, I've been taking a lot more chances since the house burned down...scary!

Posing Naked

Minimal photoshop, I might be posting some pretty revealing photos in the far future...


Far, far future...like, after I rid myself of this stress weight.

Of course, It is nothing sexual! You know I'm not a perv! LOL

The G-man and I will be working hard on projects around here, probably for the rest of the year and then some. We both have different careers in mind, but they do work well side by side so thats awesome.
In the future, I might be married to the best boxer in the world! How hot is that?! 
Oh, you are still waiting to hear about why I'd be posing naked...
Well, I'm a deep artsy fartsy kinda gal. I like my coffee like I like my mood, bittersweet...pale and sweet...yeah. But, my man is quite the comedian and our conversation about me posing nude was strictly on a hilarious note! It's a joke, but its very real and very serious. I'm not a femanazi, but there are certain things in this world that really pin us down as human beings, in general, that some of us really need to address. Not only will the photos be revealing, physically, but emotionally as well. There has to be a gag reel, you know I like to keep it light. When we get our monies back in order, I will be investing in a camera that can accommodate all of our needs, including video.

Speaking of video, have you ever watched my videos? I'M FREAKING AWKWARD!! I thought Gabe was just being funny when he was re-enacting my personality on camera...he was right on the money. I had no clue. I thought my camera personality was a great example of ME...it is, socially, I'm that socially awkward, but once we hang out i'm not that bad. LOL 

It Feels So Good!!

I'm back! I have to say, I don't ever want to go without internet again!!!!! It was over 10 days completely without, my brain tried turning off so many times due to the complete lack of communication!

I'm in my creepy little house and there is so much more that needs to be done to this place than I thought! I hate having to adult about this kind of life stuff, I'd much rather live in my creepy house but have it fully functional and comfy and pretend that my life CAN be rainbows and butterflies.

The other things I have to adult about is money...As you know, I haven't worked outside of my dwelling in a long time. I honestly did not think I had to start now!!  I thought I had time to set up something perfect and fun, even career worthy. Sadly, my brain is stuck on fantasy mode and real life just kicked down the door, lol.

I could piss and moan all day, but I know that I'm strong enough to do anything that I gotta do. The only thing keeping me together is having you guys around :)

Here is me, getting over a sinus infection:

I changed my hair!
My mom found some dye in a box that was left in the surviving trailer and I wasted no time. Its 2 different colors, but close enough to each other that you can't tell yet...6 washes later and I'll be whining, you know me.

I love you guys, thank you for stopping by!