During The Aftermath

My mom is an angel, she paid for the fee to get my new phone. Luckily we had insurance on it, but when you only have a little bit of money, something like this is very expensive.

I've never had to do something like this. It is worse than starting over, we are starting from nothing. 
We have never been the type of people to need help, we help those in need and with the tables turned we are lost. I am lost.

I keep saying "Stay positive", I need to practice what I preach! So, because of the wonderful people helping us, we CAN think of our future and that is not something I was expecting.

I still want to go to school, I still want to do something with my life. I'll admit, I truly miss my crafts and machines. Oh, my serger, sewing machine, t-shirt press, printers, fabrics, pendants, beads, and my baby CANON! Soon, very soon I will start rebuilding my collection of awesomeness!!

By the way, I don't know what I'd do without my family. They have been so supportive and loving without smothering each other. 
Being in a completely new city and knowing that I don't have a home, I feel like I'm in a different country. Its scary, but I am learning from this.

I love you guys and I sincerely hope you are all well and happy!

Our Lives In Flames (Please Help)

Remember how we moved to Arizona? 

Tragedy struck only days after arriving at the house:

Everything we ever owned, everything we saved up for, everything we spent hours on gently packing went up in flames Wednesday, June 3rd.

I was standing there talking to grandpa about what projects to start on and what plants needed to be watered when he asked me "What is that smell? It smells like smoke!"
I ran to the front door in time to see this huge black bellow of smoke come rolling over the front of the house. Papa yelled "Get grandma out!" I yelled at Gabe "Baby, get Cole and get out, the house is on fire!!"
I pushed my half naked grandma out the door when I saw the flames engulf the entire left side of the house. I hooked my arms under hers and dragged her to the edge of the yard, Gabe right behind me. In that moment when adrenaline kicked in, I asked myself "What do you do in this situation?" but my brain left me hangin'. I had no idea what to do!
Gabe screamed at me, I guess I had checked out for a moment.
"MOVE! KEEP GOING! DON'T STOP!" Gabe kept demanding.
When I came to, I just remember watching my papa stumble out of the house where the flames met him at the door. I hoarsely yelled "Papa, come on!"
I started to hyperventilate as I watched Gabe frantically realize that both of our car keys were in the house. Gabe pivoted back and forth as I screamed "ALL OF OUR SHIT IS IN THERE!!"
Gabe said "I gotta get the keys, baby!"
I yelled back "No! Don't go in there!" By this time the whole house was a big mountain of black smoke.
Grandma started screaming, she didn't understand what was going on. Her bare feet were getting burned by the hot rocks on the ground, she had no pants or panties on.
This nice man came up to us and told us to get her in his car.
Gabe said "Sir, she has Alzheimer's, she will just keep screaming!" The guy said "Put her in the car now and stay there with her!"
Papa was in a panic trying to get his phone to work, blisters all over his arms. So many people asking him questions. 
An old friend pulled up and I ran at her full force, so thankful to see someone so familiar.

Many people came to our rescue, the man who graciously put us in his car is a realtor and offered us one of his rentals for a few days. Another realtor offered to work with us on rent. One lady stopped by and offered her personal phone number because she is a human service specialist, Red Cross showed up to take our info and gave us all they could. We are so thankful that no one got hurt. We understand that what we lost was just stuff, but some of that stuff we'll never get back. I have 1 pair of shorts, as well as my 2 good bras that happened to be away from the house. Gabe has 1 pair of shorts and a tank top. We have very little, if anyone wants to help out, my family on the east coast made a gofundme page http://www.gofundme.com/wa64m4v4
If you can't spare the money, please share with your friends. I appreciate everyone who reads this and I have a message for you:

I love you guys, I love you all so very much! Please, be safe and love your family, make plans, get a safe and be well!
I need friends right now more than I have ever needed them. I need your support, I need your love. I am confused and lost right now.

Whine Whine Whine-Bitch Bitch Bitch

It is so crazy what constant stress can do to the body...the skin!!

 I've had acne for as long as I can remember, the only thing that ever helped was birth control. I'm 23 now and my acne is worse than ever! Cystic acne, black heads, VOLCANOS! And for the first time in my life, I have dents in my face from acne!

Now, the fine lines were bothering me, but I know that my facial expressions plus smoking will do that...but pocks?! Little craters, taunting me. Lines and craters. On my fucking face. Only 23. Acne at 23. What the hell?!!!

This week has been especially stupid. I mean, DAYUM! I'm shaking my head at everything and everyone, I think its safe to assume that stupid IS in fact contagious.

Oh, life. Why do you loathe me sooooo?

I hope I can get my life together soon enough before I end up in an institution for hurting people.
I've been a troll lately, but people are giving me a great reason to troll on them...though I troll in silence, I think they feel my hatred from way over here! LOL

I need to get me some edumacation, NOW! I feel so behind in life. Help me!!! I know what I wanna do, I just need the friggen money to do it :(

I only have about a week left here in this state...I'm so FUCKING grateful! Lordy, I hate New Mexico. Done witchyew punk asses!

Story Time

There once was a little goth girl full of life and wonder.
She had been through hell and heaven 
And enjoys lightning and thunder.
Until, one day, her grandmother fell ill.
No wizard nor witch knew what ailed her.
The devil then swooped in and pranced the 
grandmother around like a doll.
"Oh, for her poor soul, lord please take her into your hold!" 
the girl screamed at the sky.
The heavens fell silent and the ground froze as the years passed by.

"There is no rest for the innocent" The devil roared.
The language he spoke through the grandmother only screeched
with screams and grunts, but the goth girl understood all too well
 what that devil spit from here to hell.
"I've been to your world and back, nothing you say or do can change that!
I'm not innocent, I will rest better than you, I am just as malevolent" The 
goth girl smiled, confident and proud.
The devil stared at the girl, up and down.
"There is still innocence within you, child. It is very clear!
That is why you are still here. Hell can't have you and heaven
doesn't want you. What better way to devour what is left than to
eat you gone inside your head!" The devil laughed.

The little goth girl looked around and said
"This is my end."

Further Butthurt and DARK MAGIC!

Yesterday, I was tagged in a post by my beautiful mother...

How interesting! I've come by things like this before! 
Actually, I've lost sleep over trying to figure out a clean way to do it myself with what I have.

1. Is it embroidery?
2. It's bonded! No.
3. IT'S BLACK MAGIC!

I've tried looking this style up and NO ONE has made a video on it! What is this dark magic? 

Welp, because my mother knows me all too well, I was back on one yesterday over these! I was ready to try every method in my tool box, OK! But, guess what? All my craft stuff is packed up and triple taped in a pile, ready to be transported...

My butthurt is too much right now! Help?

How I Fade Red Hair (Naturally!!) Time and patience required!

 Day 1

-Treatment 1. Vitamin c, baking soda and harsh shampoo 30 minutes.
Result: Eh, there was a lot of dye that came out, but so far not a huge impact on the hair itself.

-Treatment 2. Intense Healing Mask (The last time I used this stuff on my pink hair, it stripped the majority of it out) 40 minutes.
Result: Only the ends have noticeably lightened...Ugh, this is gonna take a while!

-Treatment 3. Coconut oil and sun. 
Result: None. Went right into 4...

-Treatment 4. Vitamin C, dish soap and prell shampoo (found more vc tabs yay). Side note, DO NOT GET THIS CRAP IN YOUR EYE!!! OMG IT BURRRNS!!!!!! I can already see a difference just a few minutes in! Processed for 45 minutes.

Result: WOW, there it is! Very noticeable fade. I have found my concoction! MUAHAAHAA

Side by Side Before and after

Day 1

I'm going to repeat the last treatment a few times until I achieve the Full Fade.
I  have ZERO damage, zero dryness! 


Final Treatment Combo:
I did a honey, cinnamon mask with a splash of lemon juice and baking soda. I left that on for 1 hour.
When I rinsed, I used Vitamin C powder and shampoo as the second part to this treatment. I left that on for about 30 minutes.
Result: WOW! There it is!

I actually like it! It's cute!

I'm going to let my hair rest before repeating the last treatment and I'll keep you updated.

Let me know in the comments what you think!
Have you ever tried to fade from red?

Natural Sex Appeal: Blonde or Red Head?

I've had red hair for 1 year. It is the official anniversary of The Red!

During the process of moving, I've had to pack up my up-keep products. I love the red, but I don't think I can keep up with it for the next few months.

Should I go blonde?

The butt hurt sets in when I think about the fact that my only pair of extensions are now red...I haven't even worn them yet! But, during this process I don't want funked up hair...I don't want pinky orange BLAH all over the place and blonde is my natural color. Do I dare try to strip out the red and orange or just leave it the hell alone?

Here's Oldest to Newest pictures of me with blonde/blondish hair...

I don't know how I feel about it.
It's so weird and uncomfortable to think about having my hair a natural color again...MY natural color. 
Even though it is a temporary thing, I'm going through a change and I don't want to hate my red just because it was in so many chapters, ya know?

Ok...
I'm gonna do it...
OK, HERE IT GOES! Wish me luck!