A Little Late On The Draw

It's been a long time coming, I've made a "Fitness Journey" video!

I'm really nervous about working on the series, I FEEL like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm kind of embarrassed, I am not a certified anything. I want to go to school for fitness and nutrition, but I am not going to claim that what I'm doing is for everyone. I'm not giving advice until I'm certified!

I'm easily excitable, so excuse my awkwardness...

If you would like to view this video via link HERE IT IS

I hope that you guys are interested in this stuff. It is LITERALLY my life right now, my entire life. It is all that I have to offer <3

Adulting 101

Of course, as soon as we arrived back in Abq, we went right to work.

After the house burned down, it proved difficult to do anything with nothing. Being back in familiar territory, the closest thing I have to a home, with the help of Gabe's mother I finally started getting my life back together.

Quick story:
In order to work online, transcribing, I needed my bank card (which burned with the house) but I needed ID to do so. We drove round and round that day trying to reclaim my identity.
We stopped by the mvd express and they were charging $50 for a new ID, we said "Whoa, screw that!" and went to the normal mvd where the LOLs commenced...
15 mins of waiting and my number was called. The lady at the window seemed quite crotchety and rude...
Me: I need a new ID, my other one is...misplaced. *smile*
Lady: Well, how are you gonna prove who you are?! If you don't have any proof, how am I supposed to know that you are who you are?!
Me:...I know my social by heart?
Lady: *throws pen and sticky note* Write it down. *glares down at me*
Me: *writes down numbers* Is it ok that I have a different address as my original ID?
Lady: *Widens eyes* THAT'S FINE, WHAT IS IT?!
Me: *Looks at Gabe*
Gabe: (fake address, cuz y'all are creepers) 223 Taurus Drive.
Lady: SPELL IT!
Gabe: T-A-U-R-U-S! It's not that hard to fucking spell!
Lady:...ok. Wow, you look very different from your original photo...come over here and we'll take your new picture for your temp.
Me: Uh, what? Right now?!
Lady: Yeah.
*walk over to camera*
Lady: Look right here and take your glasses off.
Me: *Looks at camera*
*FLASH*
Lady: Whoa, you don't even look like that same person!

When she hands me my temp, I almost cried!

My original photo looked like a young, vibrant woman with little to no worries. This picture depicts how I've been feeling for the past 3 months. It scares me.
I look hard and worn. I LOOK like I watched all my life burn down before my eyes LOL. I know its not funny, but ironic. This is what a woman looks like after life kicks her when she's down, folks.

Now, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The job I was going for needs proof of residency, but I have no residency established, thanks vurry much. I keep doing that forehead rub thing I used to watch my mom do when she'd stress over bills LOL

Ah, life is full of irony.

I love you guys and I'll talk to yous tomorrow <3

Zaney's Little Monsters!!

I've been working really hard on new ideas for my store. During my learning, digging and crafting, I keep running into dreads. It feels like I'm being haunted.
I love crafting, I love making things and I loved making dreads. My big steamer survived...is that a sign? Should I keep making dreads? I can't here until December, but should I even bother?! It's no harder than any other craft, right? lol, its very tasking. But, the outcome is always worth it! IDK!

Anywho, this is what i've been working on:

These are the creepiest damn things I've ever created. Being the creator, I can't tell if they are store worthy...

I only used what I had: White Clay, black and white acrylic paint, gentian violet, cardboard, a pen and makeup. LOL  ugly little bastards <3

I have a plan for the roses, I really hope it works out.

Let me know what you think, I love you guys!!!!

It's On! Are You Ready?!

A place to be, to set up shop and start over. Paper work needs to be signed, talks need to be had and appliances need to be purchased. I have no idea how long it will be until we have internet way out  there, we are working on it and it is expensive!
If I made more money, it'd be a breeze...

Side note, other than having a house to fix and pretty up, Marilyn Manson will be visiting Tucson in October! YAY! I need something awesome like this to look forward to! I will be revisiting the dread making along with other cool shit, hopefully it will be enticing to all of my beautiful friends such as yourselves!!!

As things fall into place, I can feel my soul returning. I was losing myself for a while, my soul fell back while my body went through the motions, mechanically. Now, the light has grown much brighter and the future looks decent.

I just realized that we only have a few days left here...oh, man this is gonna be WEIRD!!
Hold my hand, hold it!

*URGENT UPDATE* love Zaney

I don't have a whole lot to work with for this post, so I'll tell you the important things and hope I still have you guys around considering I've been gone for almost 2 months or so.

The insurance company totally fucked us...HARD! They changed and back dated things they shouldn't have, but in the end, they truly believe that they did right by us...so many hateful things I'd love to say on that, but I won't waste time. 
We have a very tiny pay out, but being a family of serious DIYers, we are going to make it work. 
The bright side of this is...drum roll please...Me and the G man have our own house! Mind you its a fixer upper, but we are excited about that fact! The poor thing is so ugly and I love it!
It is also the ONLY thing we could afford AND the realtor is giving us an amazing deal AAAND gave us some really cute (beat up) furniture that I could not be more grateful for! The tiny eye sore is located about a football field from the original property that burnt down, so that helps. We have a lot of cleaning up to do and we are so tight on money that it physically hurts.
We eat about twice a day and most of that is provided here where we've been displaced for a very temporary moment.

All in all, fuck the insurance company, yay my own house and DAMN this is a lot of work to do!

I'm hoping to have my store back up and running by September, that is IF I have any income by then and I still fully plan on going halloween shopping for the decor in my new house...old house...beat up house, you know what I mean!

Please tell me you guys are still here with me! 

I love yous!

Further Butthurt and DARK MAGIC!

Yesterday, I was tagged in a post by my beautiful mother...

How interesting! I've come by things like this before! 
Actually, I've lost sleep over trying to figure out a clean way to do it myself with what I have.

1. Is it embroidery?
2. It's bonded! No.
3. IT'S BLACK MAGIC!

I've tried looking this style up and NO ONE has made a video on it! What is this dark magic? 

Welp, because my mother knows me all too well, I was back on one yesterday over these! I was ready to try every method in my tool box, OK! But, guess what? All my craft stuff is packed up and triple taped in a pile, ready to be transported...

My butthurt is too much right now! Help?

Honest Questions

Would you call me a sell out if I was affiliated with a specific brand or brands? I honestly want to know! I talked a while back about how pissed I got when my favorite youtubers were throwing advertisements in the middle of their videos, even their personal vlogs would be something like:
"Oh my gosh, last night when I was trying to sleep this song popped in my head...ONLY BUY YOUR MAKEUP FROM DIANNA'S FACERY! diannasfacery.ME.sellout.com."

I told you guys that I'd never do that to my followers...
I said that I'd only tell you guys about things I liked.
But, if I was affiliated with said brand, but I legit loved this stuff, would I still be a sell out?

I love sooo many things and want to share everything with everyone CUZ LUURRVV YEWW! But I want it to be meaningful and come from the heart, not for my bills.

Obviously I don't make any money on anything I do here or there! I'm so broke, I spend a whole $12 on makeup...and now I'm broke LOL

And, Its not that I want to be "affiliated" with anyone, I just want to do more and have more interaction with people. I'm such a homebody, some online buds would be nice, ya know? Swap ideas, share stuff, collab and get more followers to join our cult...GROUP, I meant group ;)

I solemnly swear to be way more super active on the internetz if YALL WOULD BE MAH FRAANS!!!

Or maybe I'm just not cool..  :(  can you feel the guilt trip? yas, yew caaan.

Ok, I'm done. Oh, and I got super embarrassed of some old OLD videos I found on my other yt channel, and the only comment on the specific video was "what the hell?!" LMFAO!

K, love ya, talk to me, bye

 

GIRL, THATS GHETTO!!

No video today…I am mad at myself. BUUT!! I do, however, have an excuse!

I spent my ENTIRE day working on a project that my female viewers can relate/laugh/question and of course, yell at me for! lol

I took some old kk hair that I knew I'd never use, duct taped it together and used the sewing machine to sew wefts.

WHAT COLOR DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?!

 It was the most ghetto thing I've done in a LONG time! Even though it worked out perfectly and I got the clips on 'em AND re-dyed my hair…it still doesn't match. So, I pretty much wasted my whole day on something borderline useless. Story of my life!

 Moving on:

We are still doing the video, it will be filmed and edited tomorrow. It will be later in the day before we get it up on youtube, but I swear this one will make it worth the wait. Plus, we have like 3 skits to work on and a busy week ahead, we'll see how this goes.

We are saving up for a nicer camera, the camera that I've wanted for a long time now. Lucky for us, its price was almost cut in half. I'm really hoping my check next friday is better than the last, I was in tears about how small it was. If that is what I have to look forward to, I'm gonna need to rethink my priorities when it comes to my "free time"!

Oh, what I would give to be a successful woman! What person ever dreams about sitting behind a desk with a boss breathing down their neck?! Or, calling random people to sell them junk? I've tried retail, can't do it, honey. I've seen enough of this place to know that I need to work for myself and for my people!

Let me know what's been up with you, I love hearing from my lovelies!!

Last Night, I Dreamt

OYE! This has been a rough week.

The neighbors that live across the street have 2 little girls, the oldest likes to throw tantrums and WOW did she about bust the windows this morning! I felt so bad for the mother. But, her screaming reminded me of the dream I had last night, it was so strange and realistic:

I was working with an older woman in her 60's. She was very beautiful, but she carried the look of a tortured soul, close to madness. She had no children, but her great niece was the closest thing. Only appearing to be about 6 years old, the little girl was so full of excitement and wonder. She was showing me her dolls when she started on the story of her earlier adventure, "…Yeah! and Auntie showed me the room where the air POPPED!! It was like *pop* *pop* all over the place!" The smile faded from my face as I responded "Oh, wow. Thats interesting…" I moved from the chair to slowly peek down the hall when these two men carried another with an invisible bag over his head. Invisible meaning, it appeared the man had no head…They took him to  The room, placed him in the cage and covered him with the same material as the bag over his head. Now, appearing as though the cage was empty, the air began to *pop*. Blood splattered through air as these strange snarls broke the atmosphere. My heart raced. This woman was letting her great niece watch as an invisible monster tore this man apart!I frantically searched the room for some kind of evidence or STOP button. The only thing I found was so confusing, a charging box for fobs with no explanation or labels. I calmly walked up to the woman, "I have a terrible migraine, I need to go home."The woman looked into my eyes, "I'll take you home. Would you like some advil?"I shook my head as I walked out the door. The three of us got into her green suburban, the little girl in the back seat buckled herself in. Playfully kicking her feet, she said "Where are we going, Auntie?"The woman replied, "No where far, sweet girl." She picked up her phone, "Yes, yes I have her…she's getting out now!" She shoved me out of the moving truck, my back hit the wet pavement. My first thought was to run. As I ran, I didn't recognize the area, but I thought to myself "How am I going to prove anything?! How am I going to tell anyone? It will sound crazy!"

Then I woke up…

To another rough morning of my own crazy life.

Now, I sit here, drinking my coffee and flinching every time maw maw yells at the walls. Yay! lol

A dream full of terrifying adventure should have made me attempt to appreciate my laid back and chaotic life, right?

Pay No Mind To The Pain

I have been given THE BEST present of all time…

My mom fronted the money for my dentist bill!

It means the world to me to have that front tooth fixed, you don't even know!

I went around, for over a year, with this hole in my smile. Financial struggle and lack of insurance made it impossible for me to make it to the dentist. For Dr. B to squeeze me in before the holiday and reconstructing my front tooth from almost nothing and my mother for throwing down almost $100 when she was having to decide between food or presents…

Yeah, I'm blessed!

The comical part never made me laugh, but that tooth always looked like I had pepper in my teeth. But, as it got worse, it looked more like I had been smoking crack. My dentist even asked me if I did meth or something! No, I've never tried hard drugs…ever! I'm a smoker addicted to coffee, I take antacids for my acidic stomach and I inherited soft teeth from both sides of my family. Plus, if I did hard drugs, I'd be skinny as a rail. Haha. yep, anywho.

Even though things are not going as planned, I can at least smile without covering my mouth. I can laugh aloud without being self conscious and I can feel better knowing that I have one less thing to worry about  :-D

My mouth is screaming right now, due to the extreme drilling doc had to do, but I can't even give a damn, I feel so much better :)

I had made a video about a month ago, I noticed my effing tooth in the video and just deleted it. I avoided putting on makeup, mostly because I thought it was pointless to try to look pretty when I can't even smile.

This is the best present ever! Thank you momma <3

Cold Porcelain DIY Review

Its better than polymer clay. It may even be cheaper in the long run!

I've tried a bunch of different homemade clays and never had much success...

Until I ran across This:

I had previously invested in a TON of school glue, so I gave it a shot…

LOVED IT!!! It's so smooth and dries rock hard!! The ONLY issue I had was the sticky stickiness it has even after refrigeration, and I didn't know what to sculpt once I had this beautiful ball of clay in front of me.

If I get a hair up my butt, I'd love to actually MAKE nice little gothy charms with this stuff! SO NICE!

Note: It was a little messy. Having to move quickly to transport from bowl to plastic wrap surface was a bit of a pain, but worth it in the end.

Are Mini Hats Cool?

There was a point in my late babybat days when all I wanted was victorian themed everything!

I wanted the velvets and the canopy bed, the poofy dresses and chamber pots…well, not so much the chamber pots, I enjoy my modern plumbing! But the cute little hats and big hair was very attractive to me, it was all I could think about…

I made my own little hats and I was so proud of them! The fact that I loved them, I thought everyone else did too…

I made so many, these aren't even half of them…

But, to my shock and disappointment, no one else had much interest in them. A few friends would wear them to make me happy, carebear loved everything I made. So, just the two of us would parade around in my little top hats.

I had given up on them for a while…4 years+

But, this past halloween, I wanted my top hat with my outfit…I didn't have time to put the clips on it. However, it did inspire me to show everyone else how I make mine.

VIDEO COMING SOON!!!

Post-Halloween Blues

Considering how unhappy I was yesterday, my post-halloween blues are not as intense as I imagined they'd be.

But, if you are suffering from after-halloween saddies, here's a few things you can try:

1. If you are goth, remember that EVERYDAY IS HALLOWEEN!
2. If its the pretty lights you miss, hang your christmas/holiday lights early
3. GET OBSESSED, dabble in your favorite things, find new things to go crazy about
4. Create an amazon wishlist and post it on your social sites until someone sends you something lol
5. Practice for next year, don't let all that makeup go to waste!
6. Go take pictures of fall before its gone!!
7. Catch up on all your favorite fall shows, I am!

These things have become routine for my mother and I. 

For years we suffered from the halloween blues, especially when it sucked in every aspect.

So, we came up with a tradition:

1. Drink lots of coffee
2. Pack away most decorations
3. Hoard the rest of the decorations
4. Fall clean the crap outta the house
5. Rearrange the living room 
6. Start Christmas decor!
7. Enjoy

Of course, we are off to a rough start, its dreary out today and the breeze has brought a hint of doom with an icy caress. But, eventually it will get done!

I'm going to finish editing that video, then get my ass in gear for some holiday cheer!