Honest Questions

Would you call me a sell out if I was affiliated with a specific brand or brands? I honestly want to know! I talked a while back about how pissed I got when my favorite youtubers were throwing advertisements in the middle of their videos, even their personal vlogs would be something like:
"Oh my gosh, last night when I was trying to sleep this song popped in my head...ONLY BUY YOUR MAKEUP FROM DIANNA'S FACERY! diannasfacery.ME.sellout.com."

I told you guys that I'd never do that to my followers...
I said that I'd only tell you guys about things I liked.
But, if I was affiliated with said brand, but I legit loved this stuff, would I still be a sell out?

I love sooo many things and want to share everything with everyone CUZ LUURRVV YEWW! But I want it to be meaningful and come from the heart, not for my bills.

Obviously I don't make any money on anything I do here or there! I'm so broke, I spend a whole $12 on makeup...and now I'm broke LOL

And, Its not that I want to be "affiliated" with anyone, I just want to do more and have more interaction with people. I'm such a homebody, some online buds would be nice, ya know? Swap ideas, share stuff, collab and get more followers to join our cult...GROUP, I meant group ;)

I solemnly swear to be way more super active on the internetz if YALL WOULD BE MAH FRAANS!!!

Or maybe I'm just not cool..  :(  can you feel the guilt trip? yas, yew caaan.

Ok, I'm done. Oh, and I got super embarrassed of some old OLD videos I found on my other yt channel, and the only comment on the specific video was "what the hell?!" LMFAO!

K, love ya, talk to me, bye

 

Soul Searching (Career Move)

We all go through that phase where we wonder what we want to do with our lives.

For, almost 10 years, I knew I wanted to be a cosmetologist. Well, until I found out that it generally costs $14k to attend a decent school. Realizing that I wasn't going to get there as fast as I dreamt, I thought about psychology, until many people warned me that it doesn't pay much and all you can really do around here is be a case worker. Then, revisiting the idea of being a nutritionist came to mind recently, until the college I was looking into required extensive core classes…for nutrition? Yeah, I'm broke and have heard horror stories of pulling out a student loan, no thanks. I felt lost and helpless…But, what does a little goth girl do? I work best with one-on-one kind of stuff and I love making people feel better, I don't want to be a doctor, I need something!

I found a school near me that offers massage therapy classes, it'd be an associates degree (9 month course) and they accept all kinds of grants. I have an appointment with an advisor tomorrow, I am psyched!!! If this works out, I'll be the happiest little goth girl on the planet!!!

I am making this post, just in case there is someone reading right now that feels down in the dumps. So, here's to you:

I've hated my life for over a year now, NO EMO, and all I wanted to do is be someone. I want my own life, space, my own anything! I currently lack the ability to have my own space, my own life, my own anything. The computer I am typing on right now is shared by many people, my grandmother (Alzheimer's sufferer) literally disables me in every sense of life. I have zero friends, no job, no room. It sucks shitty monkey balls! But…there is always something better. If you've ever seen the muppets: treasure island, YOU KNOW!

There's gotta be something better!!!

Now that I have annoyed you with my whiney ranty cry-baby post, heres an old screenshot of me when I was like, 15 making makeup videos on youtube…

Sooo many people said I looked like Wednesday from the Addam's Family! lol

I will be setting up my office this week so I can make my super awesome GOTH DIY videos!! yaaay!