As humans, our brains categorize everything we see. This is extremely important to survival of all standards.
Now that we don't have to survive in the wild as we used to, our brains still function on that level to ensure well being, its just on a different level. That level being social.
I call myself a "Goth" because that tends to be the most popular category I fall in, even in my own brain. Mind you, I hate social gatherings related to topics that I do not fancy. Its more of a chore to go out and stand awkwardly among the general public. I guess you can say that I am a typical goth, at heart. I'll be 23 in march...I've never thrown a party, let alone attended one, thats just me and always has been.
Do you do it for the fashion?
Yes and no. I am absolutely in love with the fashion of traditional goth and victorian. I dress like a bum/bubble goth...a bumbubble goth! I like that. But, when I first noticed "the change", it wasn't very dramatic because I've always worn things out of the norm. I think I was 13 when I dyed my hair black and I kept it black until I was 19 years old. During that period, the black hair and dark, baggy clothing was a warning sign to "Stay away" as Morgue recently stated. I rejected the world as a whole. I hated everyone, especially while I was a sensitive. I say that loosely, mostly due to the fact that most people who are born a sensitive, die a sensitive. I am currently living within my internal walls, not allowing as much outside energy to infect me. I am living in a state of insanity/denial due to my own life choices, I cannot afford to be extremely perceptive. My hair is red, as to mourn the death of my old self, the blood of the old me still lingers only as a memory, nothing more. I wear what makes me feel good, that makes a statement that I care about. The shirt I am wearing right this second says "If you can't be a unicorn, be a mermaid". To me, that means, "If you don't want to conform, then don't, be something else". Too many people in this world want to be unique, but it is so hard to achieve individuality when there is always someone leading a pack. Whether you realize it or not, you are either following or leading. There is no true individuality. We can only try our best to stand apart from the rest, right?
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| 15 years old (note the fashion pictures on the wall, lol) |
I thought goths were mopey and depressed/depressing!
And some may be, but we all have it in us to be that "emo kid" crying over spilt milk. Everyone has their moments, and those moments may be extended periods of time, creating a "mopey" image for themselves. But, there are some goths who have more fun than blondes! Goths that are more successful than some preps, happier than a hippies.
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| 13 years old (trying to look "cute" as a smart ass) |
Have you ever been discriminated against for being goth?
As an adult, a few times. As a teen, way too many times!
When I was 14, I started at a new school that had 2 emo kids out of hundreds of "normal" kids or "preps". The female gym teacher stopped me before I entered the locker room and said "Does your mom let you do your hair like that?" I laughed and said "Yeah! She helped me!". The teacher had a disgusted look smear across her face and said "I'd NEVER let my daughter leave the house looking like THAT!" I stared at her for a second, I responded "Thats too bad. Sucks to be her." Then the bullying really got out of hand and I was expelled from that school because a whole band of preps told the principle that I "threatened to bomb the school". Which, of course, was not true in any way shape and form. But, that was my last day there and I waved everyone the bird as I walked out the doors.
I do recall one of the kids that "told on me" was the same ass that asked me on my first day "Are you emuuu?" HAHAA! I said "Its 'emo' and no."
If you are an adult, why do you still consider yourself "goth"?
I love feeling comfortable in my own skin, no one can take that away from me, especially now that I am a grown woman. I still love the style, I still love the message it sends to any outsider. I've said this so many times, but I'd love to say it again. When there is another human being that is confident enough to talk to me while I look the way I do, that person has now opened a door in their mind and in my heart. I automatically develop respect for someone who can outwardly accept me as I am. The reason that I am "Still Goth" is the same it always has been.
Sorry if this was too serious compared to my usual posts, its just been weighing on my mind a bit. There are other things that are much more stressful that have me distracted well beyond the usual, but this helps. A stream of consciousness.
Thank you so much for reading. I want to get some videos going now that my sick is gone. Let me know in the comments what's on your mind. I love hearing from anyone!
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