When I worked at Wal-Mart, my favorite co-worker and friend (60+ years old) gave me the best advice I could have ever obtained from another human being outside of my family!
She noticed my grunts of frustration as I struggled with the task at hand. She stopped me by touching my arm and gently stating "Work smart, not hard." She smiled and simply moved the object I struggled with.
Since that moment, I tried practicing that very statement. Sometimes I'd get lost and stray from that mindset, but instilling it into my life, over time, it really started to sink in. That little sweetheart was so right!
Could I ever "Work smart, not hard"? Is that a possibility?!
With hard work, can you just ease into working smart? Maybe!
I'm not where I want to be in life, but I am living the life I agreed to. My inner self has so many problems, I always get knocked off any horse I find. Taking chances is something I'm kind of bad at, I mean, I don't take chances! I usually only run on LAST MINUTE mindset, thats how I get things done...Last stinkin' minute!! When I fail (often) I beat myself up for so long, all that time wasted on pity parties when I could've been learning from my mistakes and stopped making stupid excuses for my actions (or lack there of).
I'm trying really hard to be what everyone needs, right now. Including myself! I need me to get my thumb out of my ass and do what needs to be done. The immature brat in me is actually cowering at the fact that I now have TONS of responsibilities out of no where...again. But, this time is different, I know what to do. Work. Like, real work. But, work smart...not hard! That means, no over thinking, just doing without over exertion! The applications are sent, now I wait impatiently :)
BTW, I've been taking a lot more chances since the house burned down...scary!
Minimal photoshop, I might be posting some pretty revealing photos in the far future...
Far, far future...like, after I rid myself of this stress weight.
Of course, It is nothing sexual! You know I'm not a perv! LOL
The G-man and I will be working hard on projects around here, probably for the rest of the year and then some. We both have different careers in mind, but they do work well side by side so thats awesome.
In the future, I might be married to the best boxer in the world! How hot is that?!
Oh, you are still waiting to hear about why I'd be posing naked...
Well, I'm a deep artsy fartsy kinda gal. I like my coffee like I like my mood, bittersweet...pale and sweet...yeah. But, my man is quite the comedian and our conversation about me posing nude was strictly on a hilarious note! It's a joke, but its very real and very serious. I'm not a femanazi, but there are certain things in this world that really pin us down as human beings, in general, that some of us really need to address. Not only will the photos be revealing, physically, but emotionally as well. There has to be a gag reel, you know I like to keep it light. When we get our monies back in order, I will be investing in a camera that can accommodate all of our needs, including video.
Speaking of video, have you ever watched my videos? I'M FREAKING AWKWARD!! I thought Gabe was just being funny when he was re-enacting my personality on camera...he was right on the money. I had no clue. I thought my camera personality was a great example of ME...it is, socially, I'm that socially awkward, but once we hang out i'm not that bad. LOL
I'm back! I have to say, I don't ever want to go without internet again!!!!! It was over 10 days completely without, my brain tried turning off so many times due to the complete lack of communication!
I'm in my creepy little house and there is so much more that needs to be done to this place than I thought! I hate having to adult about this kind of life stuff, I'd much rather live in my creepy house but have it fully functional and comfy and pretend that my life CAN be rainbows and butterflies.
The other things I have to adult about is money...As you know, I haven't worked outside of my dwelling in a long time. I honestly did not think I had to start now!! I thought I had time to set up something perfect and fun, even career worthy. Sadly, my brain is stuck on fantasy mode and real life just kicked down the door, lol.
I could piss and moan all day, but I know that I'm strong enough to do anything that I gotta do. The only thing keeping me together is having you guys around :)
Here is me, getting over a sinus infection:
I changed my hair!
My mom found some dye in a box that was left in the surviving trailer and I wasted no time. Its 2 different colors, but close enough to each other that you can't tell yet...6 washes later and I'll be whining, you know me.
I love you guys, thank you for stopping by!
Of course, everything is happening at the very last minute! OF COURSE, I have started my death-like period while we have to hustle around and use our brains! My eyes hurt from rolling them at everything.
Luckily, the weather is extremely pleasant here in Hell, Arizona today.
Yes, I am super ASSHURT because, this...
My hair went from looking like a cute popsicle, to looking like a moldy lump of sea foam!
I'm looking at ways to work online. If you are laughing, shut up for a sec and help me! LOL
Our house is so far out and all I can get is minimum wage, I might as well make the same money and not waste a whole tank of gas.
I need the work and the pay to start rebuilding my life and reopen my online store BECAUSE DREAMS, thats why!
(insert stupid video clip here, but can't cuz the internet sucks here)
Expect a lot of messy posts from me once we have internet at the spooky house!
Love yooou!
A place to be, to set up shop and start over. Paper work needs to be signed, talks need to be had and appliances need to be purchased. I have no idea how long it will be until we have internet way out there, we are working on it and it is expensive!
If I made more money, it'd be a breeze...
Side note, other than having a house to fix and pretty up, Marilyn Manson will be visiting Tucson in October! YAY! I need something awesome like this to look forward to! I will be revisiting the dread making along with other cool shit, hopefully it will be enticing to all of my beautiful friends such as yourselves!!!
As things fall into place, I can feel my soul returning. I was losing myself for a while, my soul fell back while my body went through the motions, mechanically. Now, the light has grown much brighter and the future looks decent.
I just realized that we only have a few days left here...oh, man this is gonna be WEIRD!!
Hold my hand, hold it!
I don't have a whole lot to work with for this post, so I'll tell you the important things and hope I still have you guys around considering I've been gone for almost 2 months or so.
The insurance company totally fucked us...HARD! They changed and back dated things they shouldn't have, but in the end, they truly believe that they did right by us...so many hateful things I'd love to say on that, but I won't waste time.
We have a very tiny pay out, but being a family of serious DIYers, we are going to make it work.
The bright side of this is...drum roll please...Me and the G man have our own house! Mind you its a fixer upper, but we are excited about that fact! The poor thing is so ugly and I love it!
It is also the ONLY thing we could afford AND the realtor is giving us an amazing deal AAAND gave us some really cute (beat up) furniture that I could not be more grateful for! The tiny eye sore is located about a football field from the original property that burnt down, so that helps. We have a lot of cleaning up to do and we are so tight on money that it physically hurts.
We eat about twice a day and most of that is provided here where we've been displaced for a very temporary moment.
All in all, fuck the insurance company, yay my own house and DAMN this is a lot of work to do!
I'm hoping to have my store back up and running by September, that is IF I have any income by then and I still fully plan on going halloween shopping for the decor in my new house...old house...beat up house, you know what I mean!
Please tell me you guys are still here with me!
I love yous!
