Pain In My Ass!!

Please, someone help me out here! I'm having the hardest time trying to figure life out right now, my brain is killing me.

I sign up for 3 different jobs and the only one I hear back from works through mTurk and mTurk wants my proof of residency. Yes, bitch, um...See, MY HOME BURNED DOWN! Yeah, and the info that I gave them when I first signed up is from AZ. I am currently in NM.
THE AMOUNT OF FROWNING I'VE BEEN DOING IS CAUSING WRINKLES!

Ah, ok. Sorry about that.

The irony of all this, you ready?
Back is Tucson, I was looking into working at the Dollar General that was just a few miles from our BFE living quarters. I threw myself on the ground because I didn't want to work minimum wage.
Guess where I'm about to put my application in...DOLLAR TREE! HAAAHAAHAA 
Life is a pain in my ass right now, I truly do not appreciate the amount of bullshit being flung at my face every time I go to do something. I'm like "Yeah! Hey! Doing greeaa...*SPLAT*" 
I got the bullshit in mah mouth.

Adulting 101

Of course, as soon as we arrived back in Abq, we went right to work.

After the house burned down, it proved difficult to do anything with nothing. Being back in familiar territory, the closest thing I have to a home, with the help of Gabe's mother I finally started getting my life back together.

Quick story:
In order to work online, transcribing, I needed my bank card (which burned with the house) but I needed ID to do so. We drove round and round that day trying to reclaim my identity.
We stopped by the mvd express and they were charging $50 for a new ID, we said "Whoa, screw that!" and went to the normal mvd where the LOLs commenced...
15 mins of waiting and my number was called. The lady at the window seemed quite crotchety and rude...
Me: I need a new ID, my other one is...misplaced. *smile*
Lady: Well, how are you gonna prove who you are?! If you don't have any proof, how am I supposed to know that you are who you are?!
Me:...I know my social by heart?
Lady: *throws pen and sticky note* Write it down. *glares down at me*
Me: *writes down numbers* Is it ok that I have a different address as my original ID?
Lady: *Widens eyes* THAT'S FINE, WHAT IS IT?!
Me: *Looks at Gabe*
Gabe: (fake address, cuz y'all are creepers) 223 Taurus Drive.
Lady: SPELL IT!
Gabe: T-A-U-R-U-S! It's not that hard to fucking spell!
Lady:...ok. Wow, you look very different from your original photo...come over here and we'll take your new picture for your temp.
Me: Uh, what? Right now?!
Lady: Yeah.
*walk over to camera*
Lady: Look right here and take your glasses off.
Me: *Looks at camera*
*FLASH*
Lady: Whoa, you don't even look like that same person!

When she hands me my temp, I almost cried!

My original photo looked like a young, vibrant woman with little to no worries. This picture depicts how I've been feeling for the past 3 months. It scares me.
I look hard and worn. I LOOK like I watched all my life burn down before my eyes LOL. I know its not funny, but ironic. This is what a woman looks like after life kicks her when she's down, folks.

Now, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The job I was going for needs proof of residency, but I have no residency established, thanks vurry much. I keep doing that forehead rub thing I used to watch my mom do when she'd stress over bills LOL

Ah, life is full of irony.

I love you guys and I'll talk to yous tomorrow <3

Road Trip!

Real quick. We are going on a road trip back to New Mexico. Quite the adventure ahead!

If you want updates and pics, follow me on instagram: zaneybat

Wish me luck and give me the strength to come back to hell when its time.

Zaney's Little Monsters!!

I've been working really hard on new ideas for my store. During my learning, digging and crafting, I keep running into dreads. It feels like I'm being haunted.
I love crafting, I love making things and I loved making dreads. My big steamer survived...is that a sign? Should I keep making dreads? I can't here until December, but should I even bother?! It's no harder than any other craft, right? lol, its very tasking. But, the outcome is always worth it! IDK!

Anywho, this is what i've been working on:

These are the creepiest damn things I've ever created. Being the creator, I can't tell if they are store worthy...

I only used what I had: White Clay, black and white acrylic paint, gentian violet, cardboard, a pen and makeup. LOL  ugly little bastards <3

I have a plan for the roses, I really hope it works out.

Let me know what you think, I love you guys!!!!

Ranty Pants

I think I've mentioned this. If not, I'll say it again:

Since we have lived here, this place has kicked us in the balls so many times. I've been kicked while I was down, but not like this.
The simplest things have been impossible, here. I swear, this place is designed to kill its people. From nature to career, this place is just a death trap with our names on it! 
I'm calm, right now, I'm collected while typing this and it is a known fact to me that Tucson is only for a special brand of "people". 
It makes me so sad, this place is supposed to be rich in culture and people, but all I've seen is a diversity that is so separated and disrespectful, I don't want to be associated with city. 

Let me walk you through a simple visit to the store:

1. Screaming single mothers with at least 2 children
2. Ghetto girls screaming on the phone
3. Severely obese and very rude, wheelchair bound individuals
4. Families of 6+ yelling in Spanish at the 4-5 children running wildly
5. White trash couples arguing over last night while taking up the isle

I know that sounds like a typical trip to walmart, but this is the newest and nicest store in Tucson!

You do NOT want to hear about the south side stores!!!

At least in Rio Rancho, there were the same assholes all the time! This place has so many different kind of people that clash, they do not get along at all! I have to say, I hate it here LOL. I know I didn't like New Mexico at first, then I didn't like it because of my situation, but I am not doing this.

I can forget the fire, the situation, the people, the lack of money...I cannot get over the heat. The cherry on top of a shit pie, the heat makes everything unbearable. I know everyone keeps telling me "Its only a few months out of the year!" Yeah, babe, I'm stuck inside for 5 months because my organs will fail if I do anything outside during that time! In Michigan, I was stuck inside for about 5 months because of the extreme winters, I did not want to turn the tables and have it be summer that I'm fearful of. At least in Michigan, I was able to keep my fucking brain cells -_- 

Whew, rant over...for now. HAHA damn it.

Would You Buy This Shirt?!

      https://www.booster.com/revivetheroses

I started a Booster campaign for our cause. I have run

out of options, completely.

Everything I was trying to do in such a short time span

kinda backed my own ass up into a corner.

I'm trying to sell 100 shirts in 31 days. I don't even think I KNOW 100 people!!

If we could sell even 50 shirts, that would mean the world. Its not about the money, its about rising from the ashes...with help. No matter who you are, you need to know that.

If you read the short description on my booster site, you'll know the jist of our current predicament. If you were here, you'd understand the comedy behind 6 people living in a 2 bedroom mobile home. There is horror to follow the laughter, of course, but I'll go into that detail later.

So, do you guys like the shirt? Would you buy it?

I'm JUST SAYIN'! *Rant Warning*

Mmmk, what the hell is going on here?! There is this trend happening among the forefront goths. It's that cheerleader attitude...the bad kind!
(btw, you know its about to get real when my grammar goes flying out the window!)

First of all, I never liked the majority of the goths on youtube, theres always something about their demeanor that turned me off completely. It would get so bad, not naming names yet, that I would watch this girl's videos and not even HEAR what she was saying because her attitude had me head bobbin'. 
Very VERY few goth youtubers I like...There are 4! 
#One, drives me nuts because her and I are exactly alike when it comes to being in front of the camera! I love her to bits and don't quite understand why I can watch her 30 min, nonsensical, videos every time she posts them!! But, this one is pretty guilty of said attitude, lately...just sayin'.
#Two, she doesn't make videos very often but she is a sweetheart and she does some pretty cool diys.
#Three, I don't like her but I like her demeanor...its weird.
And #Four, You were so cool and down to earth. You worked hard for what you had, you went for what you wanted, but when you got back from that HUGE trip you took...you got prissy! Where did that come from? I'm disappointed, but fuck it, my opinion does not matter as a viewer. You just keep doing what you are doing, I can fuck off.

I saw this issue reoccur among the goth youtubers, especially over the past few years. GIRLS, LOSE THE ATTITUDE!! I know people still ask you the same questions that you got asked in high school, I know they ask a bazillion times. When you put yourself out there, you are not only representing yourself as an individual, you are representing the gothic community. If you have an issue with the WAY someone asked you a question, either ignore it or answer it politely. Its not rocket science!!

When you put yourself on youtube, online, you talk about your people and your life...do not tell your viewers (whom are viewing your content because its about your life) that "It's none of your business!" "Thats so rude to ask". Realize that most people watch your life as an escape from theirs, as an example because they are young, because they like you so much that your videos are the closest thing they get to hanging out with a friend. Stop shutting people out or get the fuck out. Ya feel me?!

Sorry not sorry.

Love you guys, leave me some love in the comments <3