Ssh! Rant In Session

You know when you are having a good/decent day, the colors are prominent and your goals are forefront in your mind? Ok, keep that image. Now, you just finished running errands (for yourself and others) and someone just shits in your fucking cheerios with a simple backhanded/sarcastic compliment followed up with multiple complaints. How do you feel? No matter how many fucks I throw away each and every day, shit still bothers me. Trying hard and told its not enough, almost randomly, is probably the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone. I don't care who you think you are, EVERYONE is equal and nothing is below you. Don't disrespect someone because you are having a bad day, babe. Its not worth it for either party. If you don't like something, change it yourself. You don't have to involve anyone in your misery or change. Jussss saaayyyin'.

Ok, any-fucking-who, I feel weird and I wish I had friends.

I'm especially annoyed at the fact that my rant has everything to do with halting my plans for the rest of the day and THAT pisses me off. I'm trying to get a into a routine, I need to get to the gym, it is my fucking therapy. whew. Ok, I'm done, sorry guys <3

It is October, cheer the fuck up, pookie!

Got Problems?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am so very appreciative of everything and everyone. But, yesterday was a really hard day for me. After that busy week, I was so exhausted, my brain was fried.

All the things that caused me to feel bad, ran through my mind like a pack of wild animals. I was homesick, I am still in shock over getting my driver's license, seeing Get Scared with my own eyes. It was very stressful on my psyche. I want to love every moment of these things, but it is so hard to believe they even happened! I am a nervous nelly, I am a worry wart, I self-sabatage on a daily basis, I am unhealthy for me, lol.
Every time I get butterflies, this little voice tells me "What if you wake up and you are still a useless, nervous wreck? What if you have only been dreaming that you've changed? What if none of this is real?"
It's not that its a bad thing, its just discouraging.
Everything has been so surreal, life changing. All I that needed to be done on my part was me JUST DOING IT. How was that so difficult before?
I'm proud of myself, I deserve everything that i've done for myself, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to do so. Just feel that! Feel the happiness and enjoy. Life is too short to doubt your own accomplishments, no matter how big or small!

Say this with me:

"I'm proud of who I am, who I was, and who I will become. I love myself. I am blessed with the life that I have been given. I will hold my head high, I will carry on even if I want to give up! This is my life, and no matter how rough my life gets, it will always be MINE."

Ah, ok.

So far, today has been OK. I am glad, too!

Whoa, Where'd I Go?

I have been gone for a few...I had BIIIG stuff goin' on. Big stuff!

I tried vlogging yesterday, too short of clips but I will put them together anyway because I am committed, damn it!

So, a quick summary of the last couple of days:

• Took my road test and it went something like this...

I PASSED THE FREAKING ROAD TEST!!! Under the worst conditions!!! Lol 

So, I was really nervous, the lady was really nice and laid back. Then, as we left the building to head to our car (testing in our car) and this crazy lady pulls up throwing a fit about a receipt. We all went back inside, then the crazy lady found it in her own pile of papers and the instructor just rolled her eyes. We get out to the car and she asks to check the blinkers...right blinker is out. After everything our poor car has been through, a blinker FINALLY goes out THE day of my road test. She almost rescheduled, but changed her mind and got in the car. All of the sudden, "road work ahead" and "raining like crazy". So, she was nice enough to cut the route in half. I asked her "do you judge road tests as harshly as your students?" She said "yes, buuut we do give everyone a chance to correct their errors." We get back and she gives me the PASS. We walk out to the car and the sun is shining like it never torrential rained. LOL even though everything that could go wrong, pretty much did, I still passed  OMG I am still in shock!!

• Went to the mvd, the very next day. I now have my license! Yay me...about damn time!
• Then we headed straight to The Launchpad for the Get Scared concert...HOLY DAMN IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! THEY ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF!
• My boyfriend starts work saturday

I'm so tired from all the GO GO GO, I don't know what to do with myself! 

Sorry, you guys know that when I am excited, all grammar and structure go out the window. This post is fucking crazy and all over the place...Love yooou

A Little Late On The Draw

It's been a long time coming, I've made a "Fitness Journey" video!

I'm really nervous about working on the series, I FEEL like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm kind of embarrassed, I am not a certified anything. I want to go to school for fitness and nutrition, but I am not going to claim that what I'm doing is for everyone. I'm not giving advice until I'm certified!

I'm easily excitable, so excuse my awkwardness...

If you would like to view this video via link HERE IT IS

I hope that you guys are interested in this stuff. It is LITERALLY my life right now, my entire life. It is all that I have to offer <3

I Thought Wrong!

I really wanted to work on those tutorials, I have all the materials, and I'm just now realizing that I have no way to record it. I can't use my computer, its stationary...desk top. I can't use my phone, all I have is a selfie stick, I can't hold the stick and work the tutorial at the same time! LOL 

What the fuck is going on right now? Seriously! I am getting really sick of getting shot down left and right. I do well with my intentions, at least.

Can you guys just schedule a video chat and we all just drink coffee and talk about stuff? That'd be great, I don't have a whole lot of friends here and all I want is some social interaction to remind me why I need to stop complaining on my blog and actually work on productive shit.

I love you guys.

$2 Desk

During our grand excursions yesterday, we stopped by goodwill for shits and giggles. In the furniture area there were a few beat up desks, each one had a tag that said 1.99. I thought that was a mistake, so I asked a cashier and he verified that they were all indeed, 1.99! There was a sad, wobbly one, a simple small one and an exquisite dark wood desk missing its key board pull-out. I melted over it, but it was not going to fit in the car, so we settled for the small and simple desk. Of course, we had overestimated the size of the car and a wonderful man came to our rescue with his allen wrenches and helped us disassemble and load up our little desk.

Now, the man insisted we go to the dollar tree right next to goodwill and purchase a set of wrenches for ourselves.
We were going there anyway, so why not! I was completely mesmerized by the halloween section, I filled up a bucket and headed for the line. The same gentleman was in line ahead of us and said "Did you get your wrenches?" My jaw dropped, I said "Holy crap, I totally forgot! Thank you!!" He pointed down the aisle where the tools were. We grabbed the cheap tool and headed back toward the line as he walked out. What an angel :)

Haha, anyway.

I got the desk home and my computer did not fit under the shelf. Because of our nice friend, I had a strike of genius! I removed the top shelf completely which left the right side shelves without a top. So, I removed the side plank and hot glued it to the top of the little shelves, leaving the monitor area open. Excuse the mess:

Of course the top is crooked and uneven, but it works and I'm happy! A $2 desk!!!

Anyone Ready For Another Tutorial?

I've been feeling very crafty, lately. I miss my canon so freaking much, it hurts and all I have is my iPhone, but that will not stop me from making videos! Upon feeling crafty, I have a handful of tutorials in mind that I'd love to share with you guys!

PLUS! Right now is THE PERFECT time to get your halloween crafts at the dollar stores!!
My recommendation is Dollar Tree! Get 'em while you can!

The first tutorial will be another stencil or a series of stencils and how to use and care for them.

Just to run through the cost of necessities:
-1 tank top $1.68
-White acrylic paint $.50
-1 Exacto Knife $2.96
-1 Piece of construction paper $.33
-Sponge of some kind >$1
= $6.47

If you buy anything in bulk, of course it'll cost more, but individually, it is very inexpensive!

I have a youtube channel, subscribe to it if you haven't already. I will be posting more content...I know I keep saying that, but I'm very serious!
https://www.youtube.com/user/CortneyCalamity

Prepare yourself for awkward ME!