Will Work For Money

Of course, everything is happening at the very last minute! OF COURSE, I have started my death-like period while we have to hustle around and use our brains! My eyes hurt from rolling them at everything.
Luckily, the weather is extremely pleasant here in Hell, Arizona today.
Yes, I am super ASSHURT because, this...

My hair went from looking like a cute popsicle, to looking like a moldy lump of sea foam!

I'm looking at ways to work online. If you are laughing, shut up for a sec and help me! LOL
Our house is so far out and all I can get is minimum wage, I might as well make the same money and not waste a whole tank of gas.
I need the work and the pay to start rebuilding my life and reopen my online store BECAUSE DREAMS, thats why! 

(insert stupid video clip here, but can't cuz the internet sucks here)


Expect a lot of messy posts from me once we have internet at the spooky house!

Love yooou!

It's On! Are You Ready?!

A place to be, to set up shop and start over. Paper work needs to be signed, talks need to be had and appliances need to be purchased. I have no idea how long it will be until we have internet way out  there, we are working on it and it is expensive!
If I made more money, it'd be a breeze...

Side note, other than having a house to fix and pretty up, Marilyn Manson will be visiting Tucson in October! YAY! I need something awesome like this to look forward to! I will be revisiting the dread making along with other cool shit, hopefully it will be enticing to all of my beautiful friends such as yourselves!!!

As things fall into place, I can feel my soul returning. I was losing myself for a while, my soul fell back while my body went through the motions, mechanically. Now, the light has grown much brighter and the future looks decent.

I just realized that we only have a few days left here...oh, man this is gonna be WEIRD!!
Hold my hand, hold it!

*URGENT UPDATE* love Zaney

I don't have a whole lot to work with for this post, so I'll tell you the important things and hope I still have you guys around considering I've been gone for almost 2 months or so.

The insurance company totally fucked us...HARD! They changed and back dated things they shouldn't have, but in the end, they truly believe that they did right by us...so many hateful things I'd love to say on that, but I won't waste time. 
We have a very tiny pay out, but being a family of serious DIYers, we are going to make it work. 
The bright side of this is...drum roll please...Me and the G man have our own house! Mind you its a fixer upper, but we are excited about that fact! The poor thing is so ugly and I love it!
It is also the ONLY thing we could afford AND the realtor is giving us an amazing deal AAAND gave us some really cute (beat up) furniture that I could not be more grateful for! The tiny eye sore is located about a football field from the original property that burnt down, so that helps. We have a lot of cleaning up to do and we are so tight on money that it physically hurts.
We eat about twice a day and most of that is provided here where we've been displaced for a very temporary moment.

All in all, fuck the insurance company, yay my own house and DAMN this is a lot of work to do!

I'm hoping to have my store back up and running by September, that is IF I have any income by then and I still fully plan on going halloween shopping for the decor in my new house...old house...beat up house, you know what I mean!

Please tell me you guys are still here with me! 

I love yous!

Devastating But True

During The Aftermath

My mom is an angel, she paid for the fee to get my new phone. Luckily we had insurance on it, but when you only have a little bit of money, something like this is very expensive.

I've never had to do something like this. It is worse than starting over, we are starting from nothing. 
We have never been the type of people to need help, we help those in need and with the tables turned we are lost. I am lost.

I keep saying "Stay positive", I need to practice what I preach! So, because of the wonderful people helping us, we CAN think of our future and that is not something I was expecting.

I still want to go to school, I still want to do something with my life. I'll admit, I truly miss my crafts and machines. Oh, my serger, sewing machine, t-shirt press, printers, fabrics, pendants, beads, and my baby CANON! Soon, very soon I will start rebuilding my collection of awesomeness!!

By the way, I don't know what I'd do without my family. They have been so supportive and loving without smothering each other. 
Being in a completely new city and knowing that I don't have a home, I feel like I'm in a different country. Its scary, but I am learning from this.

I love you guys and I sincerely hope you are all well and happy!

Our Lives In Flames (Please Help)

Remember how we moved to Arizona? 

Tragedy struck only days after arriving at the house:

Everything we ever owned, everything we saved up for, everything we spent hours on gently packing went up in flames Wednesday, June 3rd.

I was standing there talking to grandpa about what projects to start on and what plants needed to be watered when he asked me "What is that smell? It smells like smoke!"
I ran to the front door in time to see this huge black bellow of smoke come rolling over the front of the house. Papa yelled "Get grandma out!" I yelled at Gabe "Baby, get Cole and get out, the house is on fire!!"
I pushed my half naked grandma out the door when I saw the flames engulf the entire left side of the house. I hooked my arms under hers and dragged her to the edge of the yard, Gabe right behind me. In that moment when adrenaline kicked in, I asked myself "What do you do in this situation?" but my brain left me hangin'. I had no idea what to do!
Gabe screamed at me, I guess I had checked out for a moment.
"MOVE! KEEP GOING! DON'T STOP!" Gabe kept demanding.
When I came to, I just remember watching my papa stumble out of the house where the flames met him at the door. I hoarsely yelled "Papa, come on!"
I started to hyperventilate as I watched Gabe frantically realize that both of our car keys were in the house. Gabe pivoted back and forth as I screamed "ALL OF OUR SHIT IS IN THERE!!"
Gabe said "I gotta get the keys, baby!"
I yelled back "No! Don't go in there!" By this time the whole house was a big mountain of black smoke.
Grandma started screaming, she didn't understand what was going on. Her bare feet were getting burned by the hot rocks on the ground, she had no pants or panties on.
This nice man came up to us and told us to get her in his car.
Gabe said "Sir, she has Alzheimer's, she will just keep screaming!" The guy said "Put her in the car now and stay there with her!"
Papa was in a panic trying to get his phone to work, blisters all over his arms. So many people asking him questions. 
An old friend pulled up and I ran at her full force, so thankful to see someone so familiar.

Many people came to our rescue, the man who graciously put us in his car is a realtor and offered us one of his rentals for a few days. Another realtor offered to work with us on rent. One lady stopped by and offered her personal phone number because she is a human service specialist, Red Cross showed up to take our info and gave us all they could. We are so thankful that no one got hurt. We understand that what we lost was just stuff, but some of that stuff we'll never get back. I have 1 pair of shorts, as well as my 2 good bras that happened to be away from the house. Gabe has 1 pair of shorts and a tank top. We have very little, if anyone wants to help out, my family on the east coast made a gofundme page http://www.gofundme.com/wa64m4v4
If you can't spare the money, please share with your friends. I appreciate everyone who reads this and I have a message for you:

I love you guys, I love you all so very much! Please, be safe and love your family, make plans, get a safe and be well!
I need friends right now more than I have ever needed them. I need your support, I need your love. I am confused and lost right now.

Whine Whine Whine-Bitch Bitch Bitch

It is so crazy what constant stress can do to the body...the skin!!

 I've had acne for as long as I can remember, the only thing that ever helped was birth control. I'm 23 now and my acne is worse than ever! Cystic acne, black heads, VOLCANOS! And for the first time in my life, I have dents in my face from acne!

Now, the fine lines were bothering me, but I know that my facial expressions plus smoking will do that...but pocks?! Little craters, taunting me. Lines and craters. On my fucking face. Only 23. Acne at 23. What the hell?!!!

This week has been especially stupid. I mean, DAYUM! I'm shaking my head at everything and everyone, I think its safe to assume that stupid IS in fact contagious.

Oh, life. Why do you loathe me sooooo?

I hope I can get my life together soon enough before I end up in an institution for hurting people.
I've been a troll lately, but people are giving me a great reason to troll on them...though I troll in silence, I think they feel my hatred from way over here! LOL

I need to get me some edumacation, NOW! I feel so behind in life. Help me!!! I know what I wanna do, I just need the friggen money to do it :(

I only have about a week left here in this state...I'm so FUCKING grateful! Lordy, I hate New Mexico. Done witchyew punk asses!