GIRL, THATS GHETTO!!

No video today…I am mad at myself. BUUT!! I do, however, have an excuse!

I spent my ENTIRE day working on a project that my female viewers can relate/laugh/question and of course, yell at me for! lol

I took some old kk hair that I knew I'd never use, duct taped it together and used the sewing machine to sew wefts.

WHAT COLOR DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?!

 It was the most ghetto thing I've done in a LONG time! Even though it worked out perfectly and I got the clips on 'em AND re-dyed my hair…it still doesn't match. So, I pretty much wasted my whole day on something borderline useless. Story of my life!

 Moving on:

We are still doing the video, it will be filmed and edited tomorrow. It will be later in the day before we get it up on youtube, but I swear this one will make it worth the wait. Plus, we have like 3 skits to work on and a busy week ahead, we'll see how this goes.

We are saving up for a nicer camera, the camera that I've wanted for a long time now. Lucky for us, its price was almost cut in half. I'm really hoping my check next friday is better than the last, I was in tears about how small it was. If that is what I have to look forward to, I'm gonna need to rethink my priorities when it comes to my "free time"!

Oh, what I would give to be a successful woman! What person ever dreams about sitting behind a desk with a boss breathing down their neck?! Or, calling random people to sell them junk? I've tried retail, can't do it, honey. I've seen enough of this place to know that I need to work for myself and for my people!

Let me know what's been up with you, I love hearing from my lovelies!!

Last Night, I Dreamt

OYE! This has been a rough week.

The neighbors that live across the street have 2 little girls, the oldest likes to throw tantrums and WOW did she about bust the windows this morning! I felt so bad for the mother. But, her screaming reminded me of the dream I had last night, it was so strange and realistic:

I was working with an older woman in her 60's. She was very beautiful, but she carried the look of a tortured soul, close to madness. She had no children, but her great niece was the closest thing. Only appearing to be about 6 years old, the little girl was so full of excitement and wonder. She was showing me her dolls when she started on the story of her earlier adventure, "…Yeah! and Auntie showed me the room where the air POPPED!! It was like *pop* *pop* all over the place!" The smile faded from my face as I responded "Oh, wow. Thats interesting…" I moved from the chair to slowly peek down the hall when these two men carried another with an invisible bag over his head. Invisible meaning, it appeared the man had no head…They took him to  The room, placed him in the cage and covered him with the same material as the bag over his head. Now, appearing as though the cage was empty, the air began to *pop*. Blood splattered through air as these strange snarls broke the atmosphere. My heart raced. This woman was letting her great niece watch as an invisible monster tore this man apart!I frantically searched the room for some kind of evidence or STOP button. The only thing I found was so confusing, a charging box for fobs with no explanation or labels. I calmly walked up to the woman, "I have a terrible migraine, I need to go home."The woman looked into my eyes, "I'll take you home. Would you like some advil?"I shook my head as I walked out the door. The three of us got into her green suburban, the little girl in the back seat buckled herself in. Playfully kicking her feet, she said "Where are we going, Auntie?"The woman replied, "No where far, sweet girl." She picked up her phone, "Yes, yes I have her…she's getting out now!" She shoved me out of the moving truck, my back hit the wet pavement. My first thought was to run. As I ran, I didn't recognize the area, but I thought to myself "How am I going to prove anything?! How am I going to tell anyone? It will sound crazy!"

Then I woke up…

To another rough morning of my own crazy life.

Now, I sit here, drinking my coffee and flinching every time maw maw yells at the walls. Yay! lol

A dream full of terrifying adventure should have made me attempt to appreciate my laid back and chaotic life, right?

I Know Now

I've been here before. Shaking hands, scanning every word. I am desperately searching for the person I am going to be. Based on my character, my lifestyle…nothing seems to fit, until I come across the one thing that always stops me dead in my tracks. 

I know that I don't want to be a model, or a scientist, or a truck driver. I try to pretend, I try to convince myself that I am someone else, just to land on something solid for once. 

The thing that keeps coming back around, the thing that makes my heart flutter, the thing that is me: Nutrition!

Probably not what you were expecting, but its an actual passion of mine. When I step back and think about the fact that I do everything with my hands, everything has to be visually appealing AND work properly. Everything I am can be applied to Dietary Management. Thats what I am going to aim for. Unfortunately, there are no online classes on it right now, but that leaves me enough time to figure out how I am going to pay for it AND find out if the agency might be able to help me out with a discount, considering my current…career. 

Wish me luck? lol

P.S. We are still working on videos!! I keep gaining and losing a subscriber…I have no idea whats going on with that, but it makes me laugh every time because we don't know if its an indecisive person or if its a glitch…or a ghost. NO CLUE! Either way, I love you guys and gals!

What Am I Going To DO?!

I think we are all very well acquainted with life at this point and we know minimum wage SUCKS ASS!! I cannot imagine anyone living on it, let alone thriving!

I got curious about the film studios around me, I got pretty excited actually. The only free place required an rsvp or a completed application through their website...

1. No one accepted my rsvp through meetup
2. Their website is DOWN 
3. The program is mainly for highschool and college students
4. Its mostly based around TV programs (talk shows, news, etc,.)

My teeth are clenched together as I get slammed back down every where I turn! I get shat on from all sides lately! Why am I even having these "problems"? I'm too young to be taken seriously, yet I am nearing the age of "You should have a career by now". 

I spent most of my life as a hermit. I hated ever leaving the house, I hated social obligations and I especially hated school!! I successfully completed my GED at the age of 19 and never looked back.

Now, as an adult, I cannot wrap my head around the stupidity of every day life! I'm really understanding why I was so withdrawn as a teen, people just suck! I've worked minimum wage since the age of 19 (my magic number I guess, pff). I will be 23 in march and look at meh! Look at all the smarts I have (HA!). Look at all the experience under my belt! All thanks to this society and this government, I can't even afford a fucking bra. Never mind college, never mind a career...as a woman, I prefer to wear a bra when I leave my house, it holds my boobs while struggle to swim in this angry ocean OF LIFE! LOL! I think I'm having a melt down...

I'm having a hard time here. They really waxed my ass hairs when I see that taxes taken out of my check was almost $100. It is minimum wage, I now have less than $200 to survive on for another 2 weeks just to do it all over again with this vicious cycle. Yay. I was hoping that I'd get paid enough to finish getting my teeth fixed and buy that camera I've been desperately yearning for while saving up for a trip to my home town, 1,100 miles away. HAAAHAA! Very funny. 

I need to work on a career, without going into debt while choosing between ramen or bread for breakfast and ripping my hair out over studying and finals and what-the-fuck-nots. 

So, in translation:

 I need to steal a Unicorn that sneezes PURPLE glitter, ride it to Shangri-La and back while eating cupcakes that don't make me fat! GOT IT! 

Any thoughts? Leave 'em in the comments, I need buddies right about now.

Either Suffer or Make Others Suffer

Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to make my own T-shirts?! Do you know how badly I still want to make my own T-shirts?! 

It has been a long and hard road for me when it comes down to crafting v.s. career!

I keep getting this hair up my ass about the T-shirt printing, it comes in waves of intensity and I go digging just to fall back down on my face when I go equipment pricing.
The cost of an industrial inkjet printer is equal to a brand new car, the cost of the transfer paper/vinyl in any amount comes out to a new outfit that includes brand new shoes. Its not an easy thing to start! So, almost defeated, I looked up my local printing shops, even the one right down the road from me wants a bit too much for their services. The price for one individual shirt would make it IMPOSSIBLE to profit from! Stuff like that is more for personal pleasures and groups, not personal profit. This makes me really sad and disappointed, I have so many things that I want to do and things that I want to get involved in, but the big price on the little things make it way too difficult for the average joe.

If I made you a shirt, or just an abundance of the same shirts, I'd NEVER want to charge you more than $10 for it. In a realistic world, in order for me to continue the act of producing these things, I'd need to profit enough to keep me going along with the service. So, even $20 is a stretch, but if it was a damn good shirt with a statement or depiction of YOU then it might be worth it, right? But, my local business wants over $22 for a single black t-shirt. That would literally leave me only one option, charge you $40+ for each shirt!! NOPE! I refuse and I will not do it! 

Now, I understand what it takes to print a shirt. I know from personal experience. With ease, you must pay. With difficulty you must get paid. 

I have cheated, doing silk screening. Its fun, it can be cheap yet time consuming with the slightest of artsy enthusiasm. I can't draw worth a damn, but I'm pretty good at tracing and going off someone's idea. That was and is worth it! If I could do a better job on the handmade screens, THEN I could sell my shirts for $10-$15 and still profit! In fact, I used to make shirts for a local band, they were not the best, but they were pretty badass!

Back to the drawing board, my friends. I will make this work in our favor!!!

Another Week and I'm Frazzled

It's the beginning of a new week, we have quite a few ideas about HOW this week should go.

Foiled plans:

1. UPublic never accepted my rsvp (sad)
2. Early workout (it's 10:30...hasn't happened yet) 
3. Clean house (I still have time, right?!) 
4. Planned on being rich by now (just kidding, still broke lol)
5. I told myself to limit the coffee intake (already shaking like a leaf)

Upublic is a local broadcasting station that offers classes, hookups, equipment and props. I rsvp'ed over meetup because the free classes are today, but no one ever replied so we can't go.

Me and the G-man wanted to start working out again, we were very lazy over the holidays, but it's always a pain. When one of us feels like working out, the other doesn't!

I need to clean this house, its technically my job! I just never wanna.

For a few years, I expected that I'd be rich by now, I think we all have those fantasies, lol. 

I said to myself "If you know what's good for you, you'll only have one cup of coffee today!" Well, I grabbed the biggest cup I own and filled it to the brim!  

As you can see, we are off to a funky start! Never fear, we have a TON of video material lined up and we really want to post more than once a week! 

Side story:

This really adorable woman I'm subscribed to on youtube doesn't have many subscribers...because she only posts once a month. But, I can tell she puts a lot of heart and soul into her videos, oh, and time! Why only once a month? She never talks about it. 

We hit 119 subscribers on my channel, YAY!! I messaged a few of the newcomers, I'm kinda worried that they'll be like "Oh, she's weird, unsubscribed!" HAHA my anxiety is so ridiculous!

I love you guys and gals, I hope to see and hear more from you <3

 

My Youtube Channel (It's Disturbing)

My boyfriend and I have started a new thing on my youtube channel…

We have WTF Fridays, this week we are talking about ARMPIT DYING!!

Being an alternative individual myself, I thought this would make a perfect first topic, LOL!!

If YOU lovely followers like it enough, The G-Man will let me dye his armpits. I want to leave it up to the viewers as to which color(s) they'll be!

Then, I would love to vlog a little bit. The biggest issue we have with making videos is my grandma. If you follow me, you know that she suffers from Alzheimer's and it's SOO difficult to make videos when she's having an episode of sorts. I guess the thing I'm getting at is, will you guys want more and how patient can we be with MAW MAW? 

Let us know what you think, because I would really love to make more videos and create a community with you. No matter how big or how small, I need my group of peeps to help keep me sane!

I love you so much and I hope everyone had a great New Year!!

Link to my youtube channel>>>     <3<3<3<3<3<3