Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Moving

I feel like I forgot how to write.
No groove, no flow.
How frustrating.

Earlier, I was scrolling through Tumblr, passing beautiful images of Autumn in many different places, different years. They always give me butterflies! The oranges, reds, and yellows whisper "home" to me.
Living in the desert of all deserts for 2 years, and before that, mostly desert for 4 years, I have not had the pleasure of experiencing a true Autumn since 2010! 
Knowing that my future husband and myself will be relocating by the end of October of this year, I can't help but cross my fingers for a place that does Autumn well. Like, I wanna get there and immediately be presented with a pumpkin, while the locals toss fallen leaves around me, then hand me a fresh apple pie made with the apples from the local orchard. I want to move into my new house and immediately hang my Halloween decorations. Legit Fall shit!
My hopes are way too high, I know. But, a girl can dream, I guess.
To be completely honest, I am terrified. My future is completely out of my control, and that scares me to my core. But, something has got change. I can't stay in this forever. This whole situation will not always be, and things will change, I have to be prepared to help. I have to better myself, being here and content is getting me absolutely no where. I think staying scares me much more than leaving does.

I will be better than ok, I have to be.

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